Mama Bears Roar
January 26th is a day I never wanted to be familiar with. It's Kawasaki Disease Awareness day and while that word may mean nothing to you, 9 in 100,000 kids and their parents become familiar in the United States every year. So to those who have faced it, battled it, shown up courageous in it -- mama hugs to you, brave friends, and your tremendous little humans.
But this post isn't about KD, it's about the advocate in you that your precious ones have. And on earth, for sure, but more importantly their heavenly heritage.
Three and a half years ago was the beginning of our long journey with Grayson's precious heart and then his respiratory system. While KD was just the start of the nightmare that was the unknown territories of the medical world, his unique design, the question marks that piled up, and the rabbit trails we would go down ... I learned five transformative things during that long stretch that will stick with me till Jesus wraps me up in the most glorious bear hug ever.
I am not my own, and my children aren't mine either. We are His first, and in the moments where life is spinning right out from beneath your feet and you can't find the ground to stand on, that is the peace you can ground steady in knowing that it is built on the most profound love any of us will ever know.
Mama bears don't sit idly when a threat is looming. Mama bears, in their very nature, ROAR without restraint. This is a part of me that didn't come alive until the threat of my son's life came knocking. And when that heat in your body floods and the sharpness in your chest presses deep enough, everyone will hear the roar inside of you. Doctors will listen, knees will bend in prayer, and the Father will roar beside you because He bears every bit of it with you. You are their best advocate, mama. And that roar will never fade.
We don't live a coincidental life. Every thread of our story is intentional. Every thread mirrors a Sovereign God and is meant to point back to His glory and good. Grayson has been my little bear since birth, his name means son of a steward and the Lord has used every part of his story from the time he was a babe to draw others into personal relationships with Jesus.
I will never have all of the answers for my children. At some point I had to surrender my desperate motherhood control and replace it with the promises of God's word and the assurance in our heavenly home; knowing there will be a day where I have the answers or at least that I'm held tangibly by the Answer and that that is enough.
Our children are more resilient than we can imagine. Gray and I will forever be bonded after countless weeks spent in hospitals and long drives into the city. The worship we've experienced together is a taste of heaven I will always be thankful for. Hours spent singing The Lord Bless You and made up songs that outflow the presence of Holy Spirit from his heart to the world...courage for the generations. I am here for these kids and the heaven they are bringing to earth.
So if you find yourself with threats looming, or your mamahood feeling less than "controlled", know your roar is needed and God is good, always. All of it matters, and all of it can draw us to Jesus.